The weirdness that is me

Exhibit A. For Mother's Day Ikuni takes me to a Japanese restaurant for lunch. We pull into the parking lot. The sign blinks "open" but there isn't another vehicle within a block of the building. I freak.

"What if we're the only ones? We can't be the only ones. I don't want to be the only ones! I'll feel too self-conscious. They'll watch us eat. And I don't wanna be the only ones making them work on Mother's Day. I'll feel so guilty. Should we go somewhere else? Come back later in the week? But, they are open. And you wanted to take me here. That was so sweet of you. Now I feel even more guilty! WhatdoIdo? WhatdoIdo? WhatdoIdo?!!"

Ikuni gives me the oh-my-god-my-mother-is-so-strange look, then laughs and says, "You were sooo Asian in a past life."

We agree to wait a bit and see if anyone else shows up. They do. We go in and have a great lunch. I'm such a dweeb.

Exhibit B. I rarely take the time to straighten my hair. Usually, I leave it in its natural state: curls flying every which way. Whenever I get a cut, though, my stylist hot irons it and for the next 24 hours I receive loads of compliments. Oh, your hair is so cute! You look so good! Wow, I didn't recognize you! (which makes me wonder what the hell I look like 97% of the time)

Yesterday, though, I decide to straighten it. I iron and iron and iron and sweat and sweat and sweat and finally get it looking almost like it does at the salon. I walk out the door and it's raining. My hair frizzes in 1.3 seconds.

Exhibit C, or in the words of E. M. Forster: "Only connect." For a good while, now, I've been tasting fish after eating. I eat chicken fettuccini. A little while later, I taste fish. Eat cheese pizza, taste fish. Pancakes, fish.

This begins to concern me. Why am I always getting a fishy aftertaste? Is some leftover baked trout anchored to my stomach? Is there a rare disease with this peculiar symptom? Should I be tested?

This morning, I eat a ham and egg omelet and again have a fishy aftertaste. I shuffle into the kitchen to take my vitamin, my Zoloft and, to lower my cholesterol...my daily 1000 milligrams of fish oil! Which may be working wonders to keep my heart healthy, but appears to have no effect whatsoever on my fast approaching senility.

Comments

[ByJane]

well, d'oh to the fishoil capsule. That's exactly the sort of thing I've done, and I too worried that I had some strange disease that created fish fumes. Glad you discovered the truth!!!!

[Jo]

Oh that was funny about the fish :)

I had naturally curly hair when I was little so now I get this wonky kink in it that makes me want to scream.

Have you ever tried using the jumbo velcro rollers? It wouldn't be the same as the flat-iron, but it really tones down the frizzies.

[Musing]

Glad I'm not the only one, ByJane! And, Jo, thanks for the velcro rollers tip. :)

[rdl]

Love this post! I can relate to the stange look, i get the verbal " you're weird". And I can totally relate to the hair thing, tho i never attempt to straighten the whole head, just the bangs. No fish oil for this girl tho; but i do need to remember to take my prozac.

[Jeanna]

I can SO relate.

[Aurora]

Glad the restaurant was good. I don't like feeling I'm taking a chance on a restaurant. But it could be newly-opened, and awesome; you never know.

[Suburban Hippie]

I can relate to all of this... I partly base whether or not I want to eat a place on how many people are there - too many or not enough people = no go. We went to a habachi place tonight and the chef tried to get us to catch pieces of RAW zuchini in our mouth... not cool.

I have to put a lot of mousse (I almost put mouse, that would be a different thing all together) in my hair before I straighten it or else it frizzes as I am straightening it.

Also - you can quote me whenever you want... I can't believe I said anything quotable.